Day 40: Robot Girl Talk

Today, I wanted to do so many social and outdoor things but have been sidelined by a combination of hormonal cycles and what might be my crappiest diet in quite sometime, I'm clearly sitting in a cafe sprinting distance to my apartment and not sitting in a park listening to the blues with a smell of roasted pork in the air. 

Hopefully the Vitamin B will kick in shortly and I will make it out of this three block radius in time for the headliner and a rib or two. The juice cleanse can start tomorrow. 

Admittedly, Nick Kroll as Ruxin is my oddest celebrity crush

I'm using this time productively though, as last Thursday was the premiere of "The League" and therefore the opening bell for fantasy basketball season. This is the second year of Robot Girl Talk and we're already ahead of the curve with a full roster of teams and enough head-start to troubleshoot log-in issues.  

We will not speak of the atrocity filled ish-show that was last year in which I lost both my laptop and my sanity.

However, I will pass on some wisdom I learned:

• Leagues with strangers are not worth it. Last season, I was in three different leagues, two of which with were strangers. While my performance was better in those, I gave up on moving passed the first round of the play-offs about the same time Carmelo gave up in the name of the entire city of New York. The best part of the league last year was our particular brand of statistically sound trash talk, revolving around penile humor and average "blocks per game".
• The person who cares the least about the league will get and then not give up Russell Westbrook no matter how hard you beg. 
• It is always worth rescheduling your draft if the lobby is not full. Also, drafting when hungover and exhausted is too much. The combination headache will cripple your judgement and you will forget every sleeper on your wish list.
• Abandon your allegiances to your personal favorite teams early. I had a rough start due to my over-reliance on the Blue and Orange boneyard. Though when Linsanity (or I like to refer to it, New Guy Nirvana because Iman and Novak came into their own and Landry grew some stones, all at the same time) bloomed, the Knicks Cynicism that is so deep in my genetic make-up was it was too good to be true to pick him up. There is no love, trust, or monogamy in fantasy sports. Get slutty with your add/drops.
• On the flip-side  it is not worth the stress on your heart to draft players you hate for moral and ethical reasons. I let Kobe's rapey-ness into my line-up and he dropped me in the rankings harder than his wife dropped him when he didn't win the championship (the priorities of that women is astounding).
• Watching sports, drinking, eating wings, and meditating on how long that injury will take someone out with your two best friends is the most wonderful thing ever and it makes me incredibly sad to think we're not just living in different towns but also different time zones. Is Skyping in bars gauche?